Look at Mark 10:8-9. Jesus speaking here, He quotes Genesis 2:24. For Jesus this is probably one of the most fundamental verses pertaining to marriage and it was the foundation that He laid for the start of His teachings concerning marriage. “The two shall become one flesh; so they are longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” This is so huge! Do you hear that, do you feel the weight of those verses.
Engaged couples, married couples, folks who are single who have the desire to one day be married and even those who don’t but are just here reading for the joy of it……listen up!
When a man and woman, a couple, speaks their vows to each other and then consummates their vows by means of sexual union; it is not the couple, the preacher, the parents, friends that is the main actor or the star of that wedding show, God is. God is who joins that man and woman together in one flesh. We don’t do that, God does that! If you understand that, then you see how the conclusion Jesus draws to that thought is that what God has joined, NO man may separate. And this needs to be the only conclusion we ever draw from it as well.
Most of the time God will bring you into a relationship with someone that entirely opposite of you. Not just not compatible, but who is extremely weak in the precise areas where you would desire them to be strong. Why in the world would He do that? Romans 8:28-29 shows us the goal God has in His providence for His sons and daughters. That main goal is to conform them to the image of Christ for His own glory. So think for a moment about the image of Christ….what’s some thoughts that jump out at you? There should be these three among whatever you come up with, 1-Unconditional Love, 2-Mercy, 3-Grace. If we are to imitate Christ, these are the fundamental things we would have to do. Husbands and husbands to be….how would you ever learn unconditional love if you were married to someone who met all the conditions? How would you ever learn mercy, patience, longsuffering and real compassion, if you were married to a spouse that never failed you, never difficult, never sinned against you, who is never slow to recognize their sin and ask for forgiveness? How would learn grace, learn to pour out your favor on someone who didn’t deserve it and did nothing to earn it (grace=unmerited favor), if you married to someone who always deserved your good? You see the point I’m making? The main purpose of your marriage is that through your marriage you become more conformed to the image of Jesus. Marriage is one of the greatest instruments of sanctification. You’re married to someone who will never meet all the conditions so that you can learn how to love unconditionally. You’re married to a person who needs mercy so that you learn to give it.
You are married to a person that does not deserve so that you learn to pour yourself out on a person lavishly who then in return does not respond appropriately and through that you become like the God you worship. You worship God for these things but then don’t want to give them to others, not even your spouse. You worship God for grace and then demand that your wife live in such a way as to not be in need of it. You worship Him for unconditional love but then get mad at your own wife when she’s not meeting the conditions. See how that works. Wake up men and women!
God joins men and women together in married, so man cannot unjoin what God has joined. This one-flesh union that God creates in marriage is then permanent until death. That’s the reason why our vows say what they do. Traditional vows are permanence vows. For richer or poorer – in sickness in health – for better or worse. So is adultery better or worse? It’s obviously worse and it’s covered in the marriage vows. Forsaking all others! Until when? Until my spouse does this or that or doesn’t do this or that…..NO! Until death separates us. That’s what our vow is. Now instead of one broken sinful individual walking through this Christian life with the power that raised Christ from the dead in me, there’s another sinful, broken individual with the power that raised Christ from the dead in them as well and God has made the two into one. And before a lost and broken world, He’s given us an immeasurable privilege to represent the relationship between Jesus and His church. This is AWESOME, what an amazing privilege. We’re certainly not qualified for the job but praise be to God because He is able!
So am I most like Christ when my wife meets all of the conditions, meets all of my needs and satisfies my desires so that I really don’t have to sacrifice much or persevere at all? Or am I more like Christ when the day is hard and I’m having to dig deep down for grace and mercy and love to bestow on my bride? I think it’s the latter. And on those days is when I realize just how dependent I am on Christ and His power to be able to do and be what He’s called me to do and be. Especially when I realize that the majority of the time what I’m actually having difficulty with, is my own failure to bear fruit.
Do not separate yourself from your spouse, you do not have the right or authority to do it. Hang in there, persevere. By the power of God through Christ, hang in there and draw strength from Him!
“Then the Lord God said, ‘it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’” Gen. 2:18
