I’ve got another version of my salvation testimony that goes into more details concerning the church/faith I was reared in and the reasons why I left it (God opening my eyes to His true Gospel) and details about what I now believe and such…..however, I’ll save that for a future post. Here’s a more condensed version. I hope you are encouraged in Christ when you read it.
I grew up in the 90’s. From an early age I was taught right from wrong and reared in a typical Christian home. My Mom never really went to church but my Dad was a very faithful member and did his best to teach me the truth and raise me to be a Christian.
I was taught that Salvation came from obeying the Gospel. Hearing the word, believing it, confessing my belief in Christ and being baptized for the remission of sins. I obeyed when I was 9 years old. From that point on, for all intents and purposes I was a Christian.
I gained more Bible knowledge over the years. As time went on I became stronger in my faith and belief system. I did good works, first and foremost I went to church, very rarely forsaking the assembly. I helped others when I could and didn’t use profanity or tell dirty jokes, rarely lied to amount to anything, didn’t steal, obeyed and tried to honor my parents, even had some Biblical discussions with friends on a few occasions.
I was a good moral person.
I met my wife back in 2007 and we were married the following year. We both came from Christian homes, but were quite different doctrinally. We both spent the next several years trying to convince each other who had the truth.
Nobody ever won those arguments. Praise God he kept us together and our marriage strong and our love growing for each other during those years.
I believed you had to do what God said to do in order to obtain Salvation, obedience to the Gospel, she believed that only God could give you Salvation and there was nothing you could do to obtain it……something about His Sovereignty and me just being a mere man or something (sarcasm).
Fast forward to around 6 years or so ago and as it turns out she wasn’t a Christian all this time afterall, even by her own admission. I was like, yeah, been telling you that, you haven’t ever been baptized (sarcasm). A year or so passes from there, so we’re at about 5 years ago, our discussions finally start to seem somewhat productive at times. I’m finally getting a grasp on where she’s coming from, even though I still think it to be foolishness but at least I see where she’s misinterpreting scripture. I didn’t know it at the time and wouldn’t have believed it even if I did, but she now had the Holy Spirit helping guide her, she had been saved by God.
In my mind it was unfortunate because I still couldn’t succeed in showing her the error in her beliefs. We actually did find more common ground scripturally during this time, but the main doctrines were still vastly different and our views of Salvation differed greatly.
I began to study more and more, like actual study, not just reading the Bible like I had always done and call it study. I had several questions/doubts about my faith, partly due to some questions that had never been answered from way back when up till then and partly due to her “twisted” (sarcasm) view of scripture that I now had a glimpse of.
I would pray for guidance and that if I was wrong that I would be changed, all at the same time, praying that I could somehow show her the truth so she wouldn’t be lost. Because ultimately, even with the doubt I had at times, I didn’t really think it was possible that I was wrong.
Then around the end of August 2018, something amazing happened….remarkable, magnificent, there’s really no words to truly reflect just how….awesome it was. Over the course of about 3 days, God truly began to lift the veil from eyes, softening my heart and allowing me begin to see who He was, and just as importantly who I was.
You see, my faith, the doctrine I was taught from youth and held so tightly to was one based merely on our works. Yes we gave credit to God and Jesus for His willingness to come and die on the cross that ALL men might be saved if we just believe and obey….but that’s pretty much where it ended. The rest was solely up to us and our salvation was totally dependent upon self.
God showed me by unveiling the scriptures, that no matter what I do, I never deserve salvation, not even given the fact that Jesus died to pay for my sins, I still don’t deserve anything. Nothing I do, even if I never commit another sin from this day forward, I’ll NEVER be worthy or deserving of heaven.
He went on to show me that He is completely sovereign and in complete control of everything, even me. He has mercy on whom He has mercy and hardens whom He hardens and makes some for vessels of wrath while others are made for honor and EVERYTHING that ever was or ever will be is ALL for His glory and His glory alone. And I think a great deal too highly of myself if I’m to question the potter when I’m just clay.
He showed me who I was. Yes I knew I was a sinner, after all, ALL have sinned and fallen short, but I never saw myself for just how wretched I was, just how evil and hard my heart was. I scoffed at folks for years because of their beliefs and how they were Jesus lovers but yet believed false doctrines….some of which today I’m certain are genuine Christians.
I had trouble overcoming sin… there were things I did habitually that I couldn’t overcome. I might do good for a little bit but then became swept away with it once again. As the true proverb says, a dog returns to his vomit and a sow, having washed to wallowing in the mire. That was me, I had seared my conscience to a point I was convinced I was a Christian man even while repeatedly doing damning things in secret.
By showing me who He was and especially who I was, he broke me. I was totally broken at that time and my soul was shaken like never before. It was then that God and Christ became irresistible to me. It was then that I truly cried out for the first time for my Savior and for God’s mercy.
I used to have my answers to Biblical questions but most of those answers were strictly regarding the do’s and don’t’s and rights and wrongs and very little was about who God, Christ and the Holy Spirit are, I don’t think I ever really understood the Gospel before God revealed all that to me. There are still many things I can’t explain about scripture or about God, but I know for certain that He is sovereign and in complete control, yes even of me.
I know that I am justified by faith and that very faith that justifies me was given to me by Him, I didn’t muster that up myself. I know that He chose to bestow His grace and mercy upon me and that’s the means by which I have salvation and that’s made possible because Jesus paid my debt. Why He did that I don’t know…..love….. well He must love me to do that, but why would He love me.
I know that God is the author and finisher of the faith I now have and I know that those whom He calls, He justifies, and those whom He justifies, He sanctifies and those whom He sanctifies He will glorify, praise be to God for that promise and assurance.
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Because nothing can snatch me out of His powerful hand I have the hope and steadfast assurance that I will persevere till the end.
1 Corinthians 2:10–16 (NIV)
10 these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12 What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13 This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. 14 But the natural man, that is a person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. 15 The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, 16 for,
“Who has known the mind of the Lord
so as to instruct him?”
But we have the mind of Christ.
That passage does a good job at explaining me. I was without the Spirit and couldn’t rightly divide God’s word or understand His truths. When I was told some of those truths, I would actually count them as foolishness. Until God gave me His Holy Spirit and through it removed the scales from my eyes I couldn’t discern the truth.
I’d like to encourage everyone who reads this, to honestly and openly examine yourself and do your best to make your call and election sure. Do not be deceived and do not harden your heart. I would be deeply saddened for anybody be in the state I was in, a good person practicing moral Christianity, a lost man. Unfortunately I know there are many like that.
Seek God always and put your faith and complete trust in Jesus, He is the only one who is righteous and His works are the only ones going to bring us Salvation.
